Carville Roast Battle (Hamilton)

   

A parody of a song by Lin-Manuel Miranda.  A Collaboration by Luke Overbey in Charleston, SC, Jason Fuse in Los Angeles & robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 05/29/2016  Released: 05/31/2016  First aired: 06/14/2016
 View the Airtime Calendar

Lyrics

We kid because we love. I’m not Jeff Ross or Mike in Burke for that matter (maybe I should have taken my own advice in the presented in the lyrics?). However, this is my attempt at dramatizing the James Carville Roast as a rap battle. Thanks to Robert Berg and Jason Fuse for collaborating. I think I might be the first person that has successfully (and intentionally) made Jason sound not quite as great as usual on a jingle (but also somehow still sound great). I sent in a shorter version to the show. Also, Jason, how’s my paragraph?

This is a parody of “Cabinet Battle #1” from the “Hamilton” musical.



MC:
Ladies and gentlemen, you could have been anywhere in the world tonight, but you’re here with us in the Kennedy Center. Are you ready for the James Carville Roast??? We have Lewis Black, Triumph, Jeff Ross, and Tony Kornheiser. Ok, first up, Tony. You have the floor, sir.

TONY:
So, ummm, how about this weather we’re getting?
Am I right, am I right? Testing, 1,2,3, testing…
Ummm, and what’s the deal with airline food?
It stinks! Am I right? Phew!
Ummm… I gotta salvage this please
And is it hot in here? Cause, man, I’m schvitzing!
James Carville, right?!? Have you heard this guy speak?
You can’t understand him, don’t you guys see?
Ummm, my jokes are falling flat and
What else can I do to get the audience laughing?
Let’s see, here’s a watermelon, and now I’m gonna smash it!
Quick, play that clip of James in action

See that was funny on my airwaves, what else do I dare say?
A Dwight Howard joke? These ghostwriters didn’t work
Nah, just get me off the stage before this gets worse

MC:
Um, thank you Tony. And let’s follow him with Jeff Ross, you’re up.

JEFF ROSS:
Tony, if you don’t mind a critique
You were doing great until you started to speak
And then it went downhill pretty freaking steep
And you were sniveling worse than those Spelling Bee twitching freaks
The most colossal bomb that I can recall
Since you last called Monday Night Football
Cause weren’t you really there to just slurp Brett Favre
Honestly, get off his James Carville
But I’ve seen you on TV, and I’m quite impressed
By that show starring Wilbon where you’re sometimes a guest
Congrats, I hear that gig really pays, yes?
Then I guess your apex is second rate Skip Bayless
And how come your pants look like a dorito?
Did you borrow them from Jim Carrey’s “Dumb and Dumber” tuxedo?
I thought you once worked for the Style section of the Post
Did you only write about what not to wear at a roast?
So what flight of fancy or fantasy did you have to
Think you could hang with all us real comedians, huh?
Didn’t Billy Crystal show you that you had to
Know your limits and stay in your lane, grandpa
And your lane as far as I have witnessed
Is the obsolete and nonexistent newspaper business

Oh, I almost forgot, James Carville, you stink.

MC:
Jeff Ross, everybody!

Related Jingles

Landslide into Summer by Brennan
Listeria (Hysteria) by robert berg
You Don't Know Dwyane feat. KJ Ohnstad by Luke Overbey
Orange Tinted Jew by geezertaz
I'll Be Missing You, Beatrice feat. KJ Ohnstad by Luke Overbey

Join the conversation

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Robin in Arlington
Absolutely fantabulous! It's Grandpa in a nutshell!
383 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
The TK set is a wonderful trainwreck followed up by an epic takedown. Awesome!
383 days ago.
Sean Morrissey in Frederick,MD
Wow. Just wow. When I grow up, I want to spit hot fire like Luke. This is great. Everyone is spot on.
389 days ago.
Luke Overbey in Charleston, SC
Thanks Anita. That will be when I see Hamilton for the first time as well.
390 days ago.
Anita in Alaska in Anchorage,AK
Someday when I finally get to see Hamilton at a high school production (because I can afford it) I will think of this and enjoy it even more.
392 days ago.
Luke Overbey in Charleston, SC
Jason I obviously can't do impressions either. Agree that Rob nailed smug MC.
392 days ago.
Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
This is so unbelievably great, guys! I laughed at the "what a shot!" Line too. I know someone who could have given you a lesson in how to rap poorly, Jason. All you needed to do was ask ?? I really hope they play this, it's so great.
392 days ago.
mrlip in Springfield, VA
Nice buried "what a Shot!" Jingle gold as always Luke. Gold.
392 days ago.
Jason Fuse in Los Angeles
BTW - You brought the exact energy needed to the Ross part. And Rob crushed the MC part - the smug tone in great.
392 days ago.
Jason Fuse in Los Angeles
I overwhelmingly approve this intro paragraph. I need to step up my own paragraph game of late. Great track to jingle to, and this idea made me laugh from the start. I'm glad to see "Tony" in a rap battle even though I cannot do impressions and it was actually difficult to rap this poorly. The "honestly" pronunciation cracks me up every time. Also... water-mel-lan.
392 days ago.