The "Laser-like Fat Removal System" Song (Rebel Yell)

   

A parody of a song by Billy Idol.  Recorded by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 05/18/2016  Released: 05/18/2016  First aired: 05/20/2016
 View the Airtime Calendar

Lyrics

I was beginning to get edgy having not written a jingle in 3 weeks. I'm rusty.


Last night Mr Tony was announcing billboards
Driving around Queenstown saw one that made him roar
Twas for an odd doctor with a license to bleed
Your bloated lipid membranes, and you won’t feel a thing
Because

From your aerated gut, the fat pours pours pours
From the sliced fat cells, like a trojan horse
Drink some chocolate syrup, hell, drink a whole quart
The ventilated cells have been scored scored scored
From a laser-like source

Your fat sludgy belly is now pocked like swiss cheese
40 years of french fries flooding your bloodstream
The laser-like thingamajig now warms up your skin
And then it starts making new collagen
Somehow

Cheap orange pants won’t be such an eyesore
For a deflated can, call the fat removal corps
Atop the tattoo shop, next to the adult bookstore
We apologize for the viscosity of the floor

Related Jingles

A Reading from Tony's Diary Ft. Jason Fuse by robert berg
Red Wedding by Jason Fuse
The Amount You Like (How to Save a Life) by robert berg
Somebody's Notching Trees (Somebody's Watching Me) by robert berg
Learn To Write by Jerry

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Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
The laser sound effect is perfect. I'm floored by the production of this. Just not THAT floor.
391 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
...sure.
396 days ago.
Jason Fuse in Los Angeles
It's all DNA on some level...
396 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
the viscosity is from the fat...yeah...from the fat.
396 days ago.
mrlip in Springfield, VA
That reminds me Rob - I could use that laser sound effect for my other project...
396 days ago.
Luke Overbey in Charleston, SC
The laser sounds just kill me. That last line - it's great but makes me feel... I believe the English-major word would be... icky.
396 days ago.
cspan
What he lacks in quantity, he makes up in quality. He is ... incomparable.
401 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
Well they liked this one. Snort!!
401 days ago.
Jason Fuse in Los Angeles
I love this angle on the laser/fat story. That sound effect is a nice touch too... ridiculous in the best way. And that last line is a killer.
402 days ago.
Chad
I dub thee "Bergy Idol." :) Well done!
403 days ago.
joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
This is unbelievably awesome.
403 days ago.
Anonymous Little
Rusty like a fox - he's back ladies and gentleman! He's got 80's sound effects and he's not afraid to use them.
403 days ago.