Tony Kornheiser, Man (Hamilton) ft. Jason, Robert, KJ, & John F.

   

A parody of a song by Lin-Manuel Miranda.  A Collaboration by Luke Overbey in Charleston, SC, Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN, John Fitzpatrick in Arlington, VA, Jason Fuse in Los Angeles & robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 04/16/2016  Released: 04/17/2016  First aired: 04/20/2016
 View the Airtime Calendar

Lyrics

The idea for this jingle was conceived over a month ago, and was put together over the course of hundreds of emails since. This is by far the most fun and most complex jingle I’ve ever participated in. I actually thought about putting together a bibliography for all the references. Thanks to Jason Fuse, John Fitzpatrick, KJ Ohnstad, and Robert Berg for being willing to participate in this insanity. And Jason Fuse, for working some sort of production black magic to make this turn out the way it has.

This a parody of “Alexander Hamilton” by Lin-Manuel Miranda and the Original Broadway Cast of “Hamilton.”


LYRICS:

How does an orange, bald man, always full of bombast
A talking head on a local radio show and podcast
Whose often pontificating one-percenter problems
Also have a show millions are watchin’?

It all started when Estelle and Ira had a child and
In the midst of his first cry, he said, “Do you know who I am?”
As a juvenile, couldn’t work the sippy cup when he tried it
He slammed it with a plastic hammer, cried, “That’s it!” and sent it flyin’

He grew guided by a desire to be a writer
So he penned opinion pieces on his teachers just to slight ‘em
His bar mitzvah, kinda insipid and uninspiring
Cause he couldn’t book the Classics featuring Howard Fineman

He found another way to captivate the dollies
His classmates, John Natobe and Richard Pollet
Brent Glass and Peter Lazarus practiced from top to bottom
To get on stage and pantomime “Lollipop” in bonnets

To avoid ridicule he got sent to sleepaway camp
Keeyumah where an older Jew named Larry was the main man
Soon Larry would leave, a theme he would cultivate
“But are you white or blue? Cause it’s ‘the break’
And what’s your name, cat?”

Tony Kornhesier, man
His name is Tony Kornheiser and
Soon he will be babblin’
On your airwaves, he’ll fulminate

In high school, Hewlett tended to be academic
But took driver’s ed with Sue, vision hypothetic
Esoteric, then a truck came through at Mach 2
The car door went kinetic, but Susan’s not moved

What followed next was college at Harpur up in Binghamton
Named for a professor of Alexander Hamilton
The future institution for a guard that dealt the crack rock
But first the alma mater of a goddess at the snack bar
 
The windows would detach and through the gap would walk a stacked blonde
Tony gawked slack jawed and stumbled back to land on
Pixie sticks, pepsi fizz spraying from their can tops
Crumpled in a sopping pile of junk, but what a bad bod!
In class on biology, Tony had missed the lab parts
He slacked off; the teacher said, “If you know it, you can pass”
He sallied, “Chimps become monkeys,” so that’s how he proved that
And soon the new grad would be a news man

At Newsday, he would be a news man (He’d go there)
From New York, he was a Hewlett man (Came from there)
Just like the dude that writes Scorpion
From Hewlett (Santora)  [No one cares!]
 
Tony Kornheiser, man (Tony Kornheiser and)
The Littles salute to you (Littles salute to you)
Nominally ‘bout sports but really info for life
Oh Tony Kornheiser, man (Tony Kornheiser and)
Why do we listen to you?
Will you talk about any games?
Or just trivia night you played?
And weather that’s not in my state, oh

At the Post readers jumped on the bandwagon for his columns (fourth estate)
Then Monday Night till Jon Gruden made it awesome (just so great)
But PTI is where he’s steady raking in the dollars

Glass grew up with him
Bubes is his one friend
Raju said enough with him
Chessie is stuck with him
And Wilbon saw this jingle comin’

All that’s left is the Browse About
Where he’ll migrate

What’s his name again?

Tony Kornheiser, man!

Related Jingles

Tony Kornheiser, Man [Hamilton] "Live" by Luke Overbey
The Metro's Purple Line (Gangsta's Paradise) feat. Judofuse by Luke Overbey
Don't let a Cow Fall Down on Me by Dr. Rob
I'm Walkin' (The Fitbit Song) feat. Robert Berg by Luke Overbey
Intergalactic Howard Fineman (Cover Version) by Luke Overbey

Join the conversation

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Little in MA (originally from Columbia, MD)
My 3yo masculine child, unfamiliar with Hamilton, requests this song by name and sings the chorus!
96 days ago.
Chef Mike Benninger
It's just that good, nearly 9 months later, it's...just...brilliant...
240 days ago.
stevemiller78 in Half Moon Bay,CA
Wow... just wow. You all help the show I listen to, my goodness every weekday.
252 days ago.
Luke Overbey in Charleston, SC
An early version had a lyric line from a Jim Steinman song in the Susan Pfeffer section but I ended up changing it.
424 days ago.
Mark in n. Glendale
Had to have post Tony award listen, still the best. Any thought to a Jim Steinman reference?
424 days ago.
Rashid from bahrain
Amazing! It almost brought me to tears when I heard it on the podcast and I have been thinking about it for a couple of months! Thank you to all who worked in this amazing tribute
433 days ago.
KarrilK
Still married after all these years. #Thanks for the mention
439 days ago.
George
Most amazing tribute I've heard yet. Brilliant work.
471 days ago.
Thomas Graham in Tucson, As.
I thought this was great. It made me go download the Hamilton soundtrack. This was better.
479 days ago.
Daz Efx in London
Standing O! Encore!
480 days ago.
Clive in VA
This is in no way a jingle, there's no way that I've been playing a jingle on full blast in my car, home, and gym. This is a doggone opus. The performances were unreal, everyone stuck to the flow of the song but delivered it in their own distinct styles. The lyrical content is unbelievable and the production, my god the production, that blew me away the most. When I first heard it on the show all I kept saying was holy f##^*ing sh#% BRAVO!
481 days ago.
drs_22 in Marlborough, MA
Astonishing!
482 days ago.
Mary Ann
I am blown away by the brilliance of this. ...and I haven't even see Hamilton....yet!
482 days ago.
CHinkle2 in Lakeland, FL
Great Job...to everyone that worked on this...Amazing!!!
482 days ago.
Carroll Connelley in Stafford, VA
Definitely the closer! Just amazing.
482 days ago.
Patrick Moffett in Sacramento, CA
To echo the reaction on the show, this has to be the Liver closer
483 days ago.
Patrick Moffett in Sacramento, CA
To all involved with this, all I can say is wow, wow, and wow! I have been listening to this show for about half of my absurd life and the amount of material piled into this collaboration, combined with the incredible performance is mind blowing.
483 days ago.
Swingmonalisa in Bel Air, MD
I'll likely never see this musical so I'll consider this the definitive version of this song. This SHOULD set the new record for being on the most playlists. Simply fantastic
483 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
a lot of traffic again today. i blame the trolls. could be the songs too, i suppose.
484 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
Some overt agenda-based trolling. Well done, Brad.
484 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
I hope this doesn't offend anyone , but the jingles just completely suck and all of you people need to get real lives and let the show return to its proper role as the purveyor of vital information about the NFL combine and NBA cap updates. More hot takes please, you losers [step one of my master plan to ever have a jingle played on air again, dishearten the rest of you wonderful people!]
484 days ago.
Sam Rhem
Pure Gold!
484 days ago.
Steve Clementson in United States
I was working on a jingle today. feeling pretty good about what i wrote. l then listened to this jingle and when it was over I went over and pushed delete. there was no sense in finishing it because no one, no one, will write a better jingle then this beast that as been unleashed on tk jingles just. drop the mike and walk away. I tip my cap to you humbled.
484 days ago.
Frank Smith
Sounds wonderful!!!!! Great opening song for the new musical: Mr. Tony-"The Man Who Would be Sheep".
484 days ago.
Teresa
Awed. Floored. Fantastic. Those are just some of the words that are wholly inadequate to praise this team effort. It will raise the "Liver" roof! The jingle Pulitzer goes to you!
484 days ago.
Mark Tahtinen
Heard it today and f'n AWESOME just AWESOME
484 days ago.
Terry
Beyond belief!
484 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
all hail Luke Overbey! every time he sent around revised lyrics this song got better and better. he shot for the moon, and incredibly enough, hit it.
484 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
Tony Kornheiser Man for the $10!
484 days ago.
ElliotO in Hauppauge, NY
Wow. Just...wow. Un f'n believable.
484 days ago.
Greg Smallwood in Waynesville, OH
Absolutely fantastic -- had to jump to TK Jingles while it was playing to make sure I didn't miss a word. Reminded me of the first time I heard Bohemian Rhapsody more than 40 years ago . . .
484 days ago.
Jack Wright in Frederick, MD in United States
This is absolutely incredible. Really well done guys.
484 days ago.
mrlip in Springfield, VA
Kornheiser the Musical suggested.
484 days ago.
Ianthe
Holy crap!
484 days ago.
Emmet
Wow. This is an epic jingle. After today's show, I hope this one makes it on the show (perfect for a Thursday show).
485 days ago.
Anonymous Little
I can't wait for the full-length musical.
485 days ago.
Norma
Amazing as always - can't wait to meet you guys!
485 days ago.
John Fitzpatrick in Arlington, VA
This one, great as it is, seems more likely to get near a Wurlitzer than a Pulitzer...
485 days ago.
Jim McManus
Yeah...do you guys share the Pulitzer?
486 days ago.
Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
Thanks, everyone! This was by far the most complex jingle I've participated in and absolutely one of the coolest. Special thanks to Luke for inviting me to join on this. Great job, gents...it was a blast! For some reason, out of all of these fabulous lyrics, I can't stop singing "for a guard that dealt the crack rock" around the house. Thanks for that.
486 days ago.
joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
Can't find my jaw now.....
486 days ago.
jessegm in Ann Arbor, MI
This was a fantastic jingle. A fantastic collaboration of voices!
486 days ago.
Marc
Spectacular.
486 days ago.
Don in Washington, DC
I've sent this jingle to almost everyone I know......think I'm going to send to people I don't even know
486 days ago.
John In Springfield
Amazing!
487 days ago.
pip77 in Centerville, OH
Brilliant!!!
487 days ago.
chipster61 in Jackson, MO
OMG!!!! Killer!
487 days ago.
mrlip in Springfield, VA
Greatness.
487 days ago.
Jolene in Grand Island, NE
You guys are amazing!!! Love it!
487 days ago.
Jeff
This is brilliant!
487 days ago.
Jen S_S
Long-time jingles listener, first-time commenter. BRAVO, jinglers, that was amazing. I know the BIGs will appreciate, but man, I hope Tony's heard the Hamilton opener to know how awesome this is!
487 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
Everyone brought their A+ game and made this one so much fun. This was my "Jingle to Be Named Later" addition to the setlist. :)
487 days ago.
PaulRichardson82 in Cleveland, Ohio
This is the magnum opus of jingles.
487 days ago.
Brian in ATX
OK, that's unbelievable!! Well done all, keep it up.
487 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
The "Even Liver" setlist needs to be finalized in like a week or two so everyone please stop writing good material. Faxes & notes 'til June!!!
487 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
Well, you left out Errol Morris. Sweet Baby Jesus.. Truly amazing at every level.
487 days ago.
Anita in Alaska in Anchorage,AK
Wow. Just wow. Talk about a team effort. It's from a musical so TK will love it. Hope it's on the playlist for Liver.
487 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
Talk about commitment to the craft (& to the joke). This is unbelievable
487 days ago.
Sean Morrissey in Frederick,MD
Holy shit, this is good. Kudos all around. Brilliantly done.
487 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Jason really did crush the production, you crushed the concept and lyrics, KJ and John are money, and i was thrilled to be asked to participate. the only question is: will they play a 4 minute jingle?
487 days ago.
John Fitzpatrick in Arlington, VA
One of the coolest, if not THE coolest, projects I've been involved with since I started jingling. Thanks to Luke, KJ, Jason & Rob for letting me join in. We did not throw away our shot!
487 days ago.

The TK Jingles Weekly Prodcast
This jingle is featured in the following episodes of the TK Jingles Weekly Prodcast:
April 21, 2016: I Want My Ten Dollars
May 5, 2016: Trolls AKA I Can't Remember If I Had A Nice Time
September 15, 2016: Brand New Start
January 5, 2017: The 2017 Class of the TK Jingles Hall of Fame

Playlists

This jingle is included in the following playlists:

Playlist User
All of Luke Overbey's Jingles Luke Overbey in Charleston, SC
2017 Jingle Brackets Leftone in
All the TK Jingles of 2016 Jerry in Annandale, VA
Big Stick in Frederick Serge in Frederick, MD
Favorites DanLTaylor in Columbia, MD
Favorites AdmasG in White Oak, Md
Favorites drs_22 in Marlborough, MA
Favorites Sean Morrissey in Frederick,MD
Favorites Swingmonalisa in Bel Air, MD
Favorites Luke Overbey in Charleston, SC
Favorites ElliotO in Hauppauge, NY
Favorites robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Favorites Benny44 in St. John's
Favorites Michael E in Stafford VA
Favorites austin avenger in AUSTIN
Favorites kpcrowe in Chicago, IL
Favorites James in Atlanta
Favorites todddelaney in Auburn
Favorites Tony Daubert in Shenandoah Junction WV
Favorites pip77 in Centerville, OH
Favorites Jerry in Annandale, VA
Favorites Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
Favorites ths0127 in Melville, NY
Favorites chipster61 in Jackson, MO
Favorites Carroll Connelley in Stafford, VA
Favorites Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
Favorites Patrick Moffett in Sacramento, CA
Favorites jarad2112 in Washington, DC
Favorites RGHeadrick in Bethesda
Favorites Bobby in Bethesda, MD
Favorites sauman73 in Bennington, NE
Favorites aloyallitle in Los Angeles, Ca
Favorites Ron_fromPittsburgh in Pittsburgh, PA
Favorites Josh Elliott in Muncie, IN
Favorites DONNI3YEAGS in United States
Favorites Byron in Philadelphia, PA
Favorites Dwconnell in Melbourne, fl
Favorites Grantlee221 in Chicago
Favorites Zikabola in South Bend, IN
Favorites dgu464 in Oak Lawn, IL
Favorites Jenny Robbins in Annapolis, MD
Favorites dpbleach in Bayonne
Favorites Florida Mann in Jacksonville
Favorites stephengordon890@gmail.com in ontario,california
Favorites jessegm in Ann Arbor, MI
Favorites paulgoeringer in College Park
Favorites Andy Lane in Las Vegas, NV
Favorites Redbocceball in Columbia, mo
Favorites chumphrey in West Virginia
Favorites that_guy in Uranus
Favorites sreske in Racine, WI
Favorites higgins9875 in Charlotte
Favorites Rob Newland in Mishawaka, IN
Favorites pokerdreams in Washington, DC
Favorites grimljo in Tulsa, OK
Favorites ernmjb in Rensselaerville, NY
Favorites PaulRichardson82 in Cleveland, Ohio
Favorites obVIII in Harrisonburg, VA
favorites 2 aafrank in Fairfax, VA
Hamilton stephengordon890@gmail.com in ontario,california
Jason Fuse 720 ernmjb in Rensselaerville, NY
Kj & Pals Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
MFR Favorites rosie814 in Fairfax, VA
MY FAVORITES joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
New Playlist ernmjb in Rensselaerville, NY
Overbeyt ernmjb in Rensselaerville, NY
Rb 717 ernmjb in Rensselaerville, NY
Robert Berg Leftone in
Top 10 Patrick Moffett in Sacramento, CA
What a Waste of Time John Fitzpatrick in Arlington, VA