The Freshmen


A parody of a song by The Verve Pipe.  A Collaboration by Jason Fuse in Los Angeles & robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 01/20/2016  Released: 01/21/2016  First aired: unaired
 View the Airtime Calendar


A quick one for a news story I haven't even heard yet because I'm over a day behind on the show... How's that for turnaround? Lyrics by Rob. :)

My best friend was a university president
He had an odd pedagogical philosophy to sell
He said you give a kid a couple months
If he’s not tracking summa cum laude you take out a gun

These rabbits are responsible
for driving our metrics through the floor
Stick their heads in the toilets
Until they don’t twitch anymore

For the life of me I cannot remember
Why he thought this was the better way to go
Now he works at the Steak and Shake
Tutors may have made more sense but
He was glocking freshmen

Parody of The Freshmen by The Verve Pipe

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Join the conversation

Your Name
Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
I wondered if this story would get a jingle response. I should've known better. And what a response it is. This is fabulous, guys!
514 days ago.
Michael E in Stafford VA
"Stick their heads in the toilet until they don't twitch anymore" Caaalassic
515 days ago.
joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
I have always wanted to jingle this song. I love it. This effort satisfies my need for doing it.
517 days ago.
Anita from Alaska
I love these jingles that come from the random tidbits of the show. TK loved this story. One of those things that just make you laugh. Like Kevin reading about someone's tragic end.
517 days ago.
Sean Morrissey in Frederick,MD
Yes! This is brilliant. My wife, the MSM alumni loved it. So great, Jason and wonderfully performed.
517 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
It's a JINGLE AVALANCHE today! pun intended.
517 days ago.
mrlip in Springfield, VA
Glocking freshman. Jason drops mic. Awesome.
517 days ago.

The TK Jingles Weekly Prodcast
This jingle is featured in the following episodes of the TK Jingles Weekly Prodcast:


This jingle is included in the following playlists:

Playlist User
All of Jason Fuse's Jingles Jason Fuse in Los Angeles
All the TK Jingles of 2016 Jerry in Annandale, VA
Favorites jcollie in San Rafael, CA
Favorites Michael E in Stafford VA
Jason Fuse ernmjb in Rensselaerville, NY
MY FAVORITES joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD