A Monkey Tries to Drive a Bus (Another One Bites the Dust)


A parody of a song by Queen.  Recorded by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 01/07/2016  Released: 01/07/2016  First aired: 01/08/2016
 View the Airtime Calendar


Obviously I owe a small debt to Weird Al on this one.

A simian walks down the street
A bus driver just awoke
The monkey hops in the driver’s seat
And turns the engine over
The driver wasn’t ready for this
He points at the monkey and screams
The monkey pops it into second gear
And steers towards the citizenry

A monkey tries to drive a bus
A monkey tries to drive a bus
Well a monkey gets on, is he doing reconn?
A monkey tries to drive a bus
Hey, you gotta know we’re screwed
When the monkeys learn to drive a bus

How do you think we’re gonna get along
When they get a couple hydrogen bombs?
And they’re manning their very own fleet of drones
I bet they’ve got spies at Amazon
And if you ever see a murder of crows
Over the White House, circling
You’d better bet they have assassination on the brain
But it starts with larceny, when a…

A monkey tries to drive a bus
A monkey tries to drive a bus
Well it’s not a black swan, the revolution is on
A monkey tries to drive a bus, Yeah
You would have to think real soon
They’re coming for all of us

Related Jingles

Stairway to Heaven . . . Winter is Coming by Brad Weiss
Mister Tony (Killer Queen) by Bill Barto
This Is Harrowing (This Is Halloween, from Nightmare Before Christmas) Ft: Judofuse by robert berg
The Amount You Like (How to Save a Life) by robert berg
Return of the Satch (Return of the Mack) by robert berg

Join the conversation

Your Name
DRN001 in Chicago
Really smart. Great work.
589 days ago.
Sandeep in Lawrence, MA
Long time, first time. You Sir, are indeed incomparable.
590 days ago.
Byron in Philadelphia, PA
Amazing work on this!
590 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Joe: thanks as well, because i really tried hard to make this as funny as i could. Anita, i didn't mean to dismiss your Eagle pain out of hand. After all, 0 super bowl wins is 0 super bowl wins. especially when everyone else in the division has at least 3. you're till not Cleveland, but worthy of the suffering.
590 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
okay, monkeys are my weak spot, and obviously I'm not alone. I find it hard to pass up a monkey story. Patrick's comment is exactly how I would teach my kids if I had any, I appreciate Pace's compliment, which was high praise considering how good Brad's song was, and Rich's too, and then Brad's comment made me laugh until I cried.
590 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
Hey, I'm sitting right here, ya know! No, no, we kid because we're despondent. A worthy jingle, by all means.
590 days ago.
Rich Oettinger in Albany NY
This is actually incomparable. Maybe it's true, monkeys make everything better.
590 days ago.
Pacetb in Lakewood, OH
I thought Brad's jingle "The Letter" was the best of the week. Then, boom! Robert Berg reminds us all why he's The Incomparable Robert Berg.
590 days ago.
joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
Tears in my eyes. So freakin' funny!!!
590 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
This is amazing... citizenry and the recon line are so good. I think I need to become a teacher of some sort so I can tell stories like that to children Patrick, cause that is great. I'm not reaching my potential for terrifying kids by being limited to just my two.
590 days ago.
Patrick Moffett in Sacramento, CA
I was giving a presentation on wetlands/waterfowl to young students a while back and a 1st or 2nd grader asked me why a group of crows was referred to as a murder. I really just wanted to respond by saying that groups of crows are known for killing rural children, but instead chose to go with my standard answer: all birds are out to kill you, crows just succeed.
591 days ago.
Anita from Alaska
You mean the monkey in the backseat doing her nails and smoking Marlboro Greens? The same monkey that drove the car into the pool? Must have been. And like all monkeys she don't need no last name.
591 days ago.
mrlip in Springfield, VA
So Brad, at the Monkey Driving Academy is there a blind student monkey driving and did the driver's side door get torn off? Did the Monkey driving instructor bum a cigarette from the hot monkey in the backseat?
591 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
The real scoop is that Monkey University is actually a driving academy. Most of them are fully outfitted with coconuts.
591 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
just make sure most of it makes it to your stomach!
591 days ago.
Anita from Alaska
Monkey jingles comment was mine. Forgot to ID myself. Too much red over the sink.
591 days ago.
Anonymous Little
Monkey jingles never get old and neither does the animal revolution. Selfie denied! The legal saga of the monkey selfie continues: On Wednesday, a federal judge said the macaque who famously snapped a picture of himself cannot be declared the owner of the image's copyright. At least, until Congress says otherwise. There's "no indication" that the Copyright Act extends to animals, U.S. District Judge William Orrick wrote in a tentative opinion issued Wednesday in federal court in San Francisco.
591 days ago.