As The Wu Turns (Speak Softly, Love - from The Godfather)


A parody of a song by Andy Williams.  Recorded by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 12/18/2015  Released: 12/18/2015  First aired: 06/16/2016
 View the Airtime Calendar


Okay, here we go...the dumbest jingle of the year! Woot. I came up with this while working on a different jingle with Luke and Jason. There are easter eggs in the Latin below if you're interested. That's the part I'm singing.

Thank you for coming to this parent–teacher conference
I am glad you’re taking an interest
In Maria’s academic development
She’s an affable girl who I like very much
But she is struggling with her irregular verbs

As an aside, I should let you know I will be sending a letter
About our meeting
To an orange man in our nation’s capital
I am a prominent aspect of an ongoing radio email soap opera
And cultivate material from my job to send to him

Hey, you know who’s sneaky old? No guesses?
Many do not believe He exists
for those that do believe, He resides outside of space and time
neither would apply to the concept of old

Though if the word old applies to anything it must apply to Him
A philosopher might suggest this is a linguistic paradox
Crafted by and for fallible minds
But caveats ruin the rhythm of comedy
I find it best to leave out such equivocations

Salve, amicum occidente
Nam quod in hoc opere
Nec obstat quod in hac lingua canam
Ita spatio usurum putabam
Mittere coded nuntius
Non Jaws semper terminus sursum per a record amoeni?
Quomodo etiam rationem?
Maybe ut glutiam salivam quidam flakka anno altero
Antequam Deligit ludos
Eius testimonium est multo peior quam iustus coniciens accidisse
Cuius loci post multum tempus ut salvos facias nos
ego cum eo et dices bonorum
numisma Ego flipped supinas capita
Antonius paucis questus cogitationem rotulis
CULTUS charta cum Raju facies in ea.
Putatis quod esset optimum?
Velim mihi ignoscas quod terribilis Latine autem sum usura a progressio translator
Non enim abs te adjuvet Chaputzvah
Praesent EGO iustus volo tibi ignotam esse canticum

Related Jingles

Pontoon Boat (The Love Boat) by robert berg
How to Hear the Show (How to Save a Life) by robert berg
Listeria (Hysteria) by robert berg
The "Laser-like Fat Removal System" Song (Rebel Yell) by robert berg
Kip Schmeeman by joeythejammer

Join the conversation

Your Name
eaneumay in los angeles, ca
421 days ago.
Jingle idea from today's June 22 show, a one word jingle. Use that annoying Muppets ditty munamena. But use Shaq's word, unanimous. Da da ta Dada, Unanimous, da ta da ta...
424 days ago.
Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
Duos Pollices Sursum!
609 days ago.
mrlip in Springfield, VA
This is actually art.
610 days ago.
Luke Overbey in Charleston, SC
It came out great, as I expected it would. And I believe "Chaputzvah" in Latin is "felle-zvah," or something like that. I took Latin in high school, so I should know. Although I had Mr. Rice and not Ms. Wu so I may not have it exactly. By the way, Gretchen, since you are both Latin teachers, do you know Mr. Rice?... You know what, nevermind. I'll just send an email to the show to ask you.
610 days ago.
Gretchen Wu
And the song was indeed a delightful surprise! I also liked the use of "Antonius." Very classical indeed!
610 days ago.
Gretchen Wu
Yeah, thankfully online translators aren't perfect, but if you know Latin and also listen to the show, you can figure out a lot of it just by the use of vocabulary. I'm a bit disappointed there isn't a Latin word for "Chaputzvah."
610 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
i'm sure that is not what the Latin below the lyrics actually conveys.
610 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
this is what i popped into the google translator initially: Hello, friend on the west coast For the joke in this song to work It does not matter what I sing in this language So I thought I would use this space To send a coded message Does Jaws ever end up with a winning record? How is he even on the program? Maybe he should ingest some flakka next year Before he picks the games His record is much worse than just guessing On his next spot he should save us a lot of time and say I’m going with the Patriots because the coin I flipped turned up heads I was thinking of getting Anthony a few rolls Of toilet paper with Raju’s face on it. Do you think that would be a good gift? Forgive my terrible Latin but I am using a translator program I did not have the Chaputzvah to ask you to help me Actually I just wanted the song to be a surprise for you
610 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
i was up until 1:30 last night scouting for potential jingle songs to yeah, i'd call that some kind of disease.
610 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
it's a sickness . . . .
610 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
there is ALWAYS a jingle in any exchange!
610 days ago.
Gretchen Wu
I'm no musical genius like you all, but is there a jingle in this possum exchange?
610 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
Hey, you're a possum? Me too! (Bad Latin joke)
610 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
Amazing. When you first mentioned this idea I thought it was great, and you ended up on the absolute best way to make this work without it being 7 minutes long. And I will certainly take you up on the translation offer Gretchen, if another song arises, but I don't know what that has to do with possums.
610 days ago.
Gretchen Wu
Bene factum! Callidissimi estis! Dum audivi, multum risi, etiamsi lingua Latina ipsa perfecta non erat. In carminibus futuris, adiuvare te transferendo possum.
611 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
most excellent! once fantasy football season ends i wanna start learning to play the piano. mine, specifically.
611 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
On a tangential note, I also play the mandolin as featured on a few jingles and a prodcast tune. So there.
611 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
i didn't want to attribute this to the songwriters and it seemed odd to put Prague Philharmonic. so...Andy.
611 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
Khartooooooooum! My favorite part is that you attributed this to Andy Williams. I loved his version with the Osmonds.
611 days ago.