Driver's Education (Adult Education)


A parody of a song by Hall & Oates.  Recorded by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 11/14/2015  Released: 11/14/2015  First aired: 12/15/2015
 View the Airtime Calendar


About The Driver's Ed Story. if you don't remember it:

Darryl Hall is just outside my range, but I did my best here. Going lower just didn't work.

Afternoon in East Rockaway Park
we’re about to hit the road
Susan Pfeffer’s finished
bowling over garbage cans
Cmyalo’s pretending to read
about the Knickerbockers
In a few years time
he’ll be pretending to read me too
Tina Wade’s got a Marlboro Green
hanging from her bottom lip
as she paints her fingernails
Castilian Blue
And I’m staring at Tina
in the rearview mirror
when my gaze is pierced
by the 3-inch coke-bottle glasses
on Susan’s snoot

And that’s cause Susan Pfeffer’s got
bad oculation
What’s she doing in Driver’s Education?
her field of vision’s filled
with gauzy figurations
Cmyalo dabs at several beads
of perspiration

“Kornheiser, take us up the road
and park next to the curb…”
Cmyalo says to me
“…cause I need to get some food.”
So I parallel park
open up the door, it explodes
off of its joints
hammered by the truck I didn’t see
cruising through

But it’s true
that Susan Pfeffer didn’t see
the migration
all she felt was the
nascent ventilation
Cmyalo’s mouth agape, he contemplates
says to Tina
“I need a
nicotine inhalation.”

Related Jingles

Dead Man Coaching (Dead Man's Party) by robert berg
Grin Reaper (Maneater) by mrlip
A Reading from Tony's Diary Ft. Jason Fuse by robert berg
The Metro (Berlin) by robert berg
Tell Michael There's A Hurricane (Rock You Like A Hurricane) by robert berg

Join the conversation

Your Name
joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
611 days ago.
mrlip in Springfield, VA
Boom - airtime after a month in Nigel's inbox. TIRB strikes again! Congrats.
611 days ago.
Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
Love this story. Great recap here. Very funny, Rob!
633 days ago.
Anonymous Little
Brilliant lyrics as usual for a bizarre story. Hall and Oates are so freakin high, but you did great!
641 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
i should have known to check your discography for this one.
641 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
I went a very different way on this one (well before your jingling time, rob!) - all-time story!!
641 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
Man, snoot and bad oculation... this is brilliant. Sounds good too - I didn't notice any part of it that seemed out of your range.
641 days ago.
mrlip in Springfield, VA
WOW. Never heard the story before but this is great. He's gonna love it.
641 days ago.
Anita from Alaska
I've always loved that story and love the jingle. Wonder what did happen to Tna. Do they even do driver's ed anymore? I remember driving my teacher around so he could get his errands done. Even stopped at a beer distributor once. My other favorite TK story was the frog dissection one. I've never been able to find it but still laugh out loud whenever I think of it.
641 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
a lot of imagery, alliteration, internal rhyme, consonance, and assonance got into this one and so i broke the lines on the lyrics as if i were writing a poem. sorry if that annoys anyone, because it might. just this one time.
642 days ago.