Most of Your Lifetime [Is Gone] (Once in a Lifetime)

   

A parody of a song by Talking Heads.  Recorded by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 10/15/2015  Released: 10/15/2015  First aired: 10/19/2015
 View the Airtime Calendar

Lyrics

And you may find yourself ridiculing your sponsors’ advertising copy
And you may find yourself criticizing their grammatical mistakes
And you may find yourself implying a window peddler is a serial killer
And you may find yourself threatening your colleagues, for eating the ice cream your listeners sent to you for free
And you may ask yourself
Will...they be renewing my contract?

Letting the days go by
Wearing out your welcome
Not that many days left
Neurotic tendencies abound
Into the breach again
With your curmudgeonly demeanor
Most of your lifetime
Is in the rear-view mirror

And you may ask yourself
How DO I open this coffee creamer?
And you may ask yourself
What DOES a baby platypus grow up to be?
And you may tell yourself
This is not the quote I gave for Barry’s book
And you may tell yourself
This is not my garbage in this trash can

Letting the days go by
Scavenging for grapefruit juice
Letting the days go by
Behind moose cans on the line
At Refugee Safeway
All the grapefruit juice is gone
Most of your lifetime
Showing everyone how right you are

Where will the Orchid pitch?
Where will the Orchid pitch?
Where will the Orchid pitch?
Where will the Orchid pitch?

Related Jingles

Goodbye, Liz Clarke by Hampton Nager
Do You Wanna Have Lunch? (You're the One That I Want) Ft: Jason Fuse by robert berg
Doctorate Degree (Jessie's Girl) by Jason Thurman
Psycho Killer by John Fitzpatrick
Pontoon Boat (The Love Boat) by robert berg

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robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
mark, the scat ain't me. but I like it too. thanks. brad, it's never too late! well, it might be too late for Gruden to keep his job...okay, sometimes it's too late.
670 days ago.
Mark L in Dunn Loring
I'm a little late to this, but Robert, this is brilliant. Especially like the scat in the background in the beginning. Can't go wrong with Talking Heads!
670 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
Is it too late to pile on with the accolades? Wow!! Love the tune and the jingle too - my favorite combination.
670 days ago.
Ken Fuson in Des Moines
Wonderful, Thanks!
670 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
ken, i just checked the board for your idea and saw that jason just now jumped on board. i was going to write that the lyrics are top notch and i think this will kill, but that you would need a good singer to make this happen, of which i am not one. luckily one accepted the challenge.
670 days ago.
Ken Fuson in Des Moines
This was fantastic. I have a question for you folks, then I'll hang up and listen. I wrote some lyrics for a song and posted it under ideas, requesting a singer. Is it an incredible longshot that someone would actually record it? Just wondering how this works. Thanks.
671 days ago.
Scott in Western Australia
Love Talking Heads and this is a great take on Tony set to them!!
671 days ago.
Patrick Moffett in Sacramento, CA
Where will the Orchid pitch? Rob this is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time, I am riding in circles in a tractor and had to throttle down just to make sure I heard every lyric clearly, made my morning
671 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
"Most of your lifetime is in the rear-view mirror" is my kinda lyric. Excellent!
671 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
Here comes Tony's mailbox...
674 days ago.
Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
You flatter me, Rob, but I agree that the Littles brought it strong to the mailbox today.
674 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
today's mailbag was outstanding. Hampton's was tops but one after the other just killed. KJ, I mostly meant that the guitar in the chorus was a little high but I don't really know how to tweak EQs to mitigate that for only sections of a single instrument. I had to cut and paste the bridge into the chorus because I couldn't find a good track with no BGVs.
674 days ago.
Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
Simply brilliant. I think you are too hard on yourself with the mixing. At least I hope you are because otherwise, I'm gonna have to go back and redo all of mine!
674 days ago.
Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
Or since you love show tunes, how about Canaan Days from Joseph and the Yadda Yadda Dreamyadda?
674 days ago.
Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
Jerry, I think you could pull off Morrissey's Suedehead. Or if you want to hit the point over the head with a shovel, how about Bauhaus?
674 days ago.
mrlip in Springfield, VA
Laughed out loud from Hampton's story too... I was thinking of trying The Doors "The End" for Tony's retirement talk because: 1. It's the most depressing song I can think of 2. Tony HATES the Doors I guess I ought to roll this through the ideas section but if someone want to work on this fine be me. I just might if I have time.
674 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
literally laughing out loud. but honestly, too weird for david byrne? that's impossible to imagine. jerry, please don't make littles cry. you're going to make it funny, right? somehow?
674 days ago.
Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
The only David Byrne anecdote I know is that he was art school roommates with J Giles Band frontman, Peter Wolf, and that Byrne moved out because Wolf was too wierd. Imagine being too wierd for David Byrne...
674 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
I'm trawling my iTunes library for the most depressing song I can find to do something on this topic
674 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
yeah, jerry, I felt really sad for a brief moment. I don't like him talking like that. hampton, is that like "chop wood, carry water" but with ice cream? byrne has to be a Buddhist. this track has 'emptiness' written all over it.
674 days ago.
Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
ice cream dissolving and ice cream removing, There is ice cream at the bottom of the freezer. Remove the carton, carry the carton...
674 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
"Robert Berg is writing / every single day!" Well done, Rob. Tony's reflection on his eventual retirement was a real downer, way to pick it up a bit.
674 days ago.
Anita from Alaska
Still hilarious. Like I know about mixes. Orchid line perfect.
675 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
i did not mix this well. i'll try to upload a better version tomorrow.
675 days ago.
joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
Awesome!!!
675 days ago.
mrlip in Springfield, VA
Hells to the yeah!
675 days ago.