We Built Bagel City

   

A parody of a song by Starship.  Recorded by Jason Fuse in Los Angeles
Recorded: 09/02/2015  Released: 09/02/2015  First aired: 09/08/2015
 View the Airtime Calendar

Lyrics

You think that Chili's song was terrible source material? This is next level horrible.

12119
Rockville Pike
Rockville MD 20852
Open 365

Enjoy the free WiFi
Open 6am each day
Close at 8pm most nights
6pm Sundays

He's only done this 10 years
Reading it on the radio
Now he can't remember
The address for Bagel City
The address for Bagel City
Nigel doesn't know

Parody of "We Built This City" by Starship... possibly the worst song ever released as a single by an actual band.

Related Jingles

Dudes of Hazardous by Jason Fuse
Derrick Rose is Out Again by Jason Fuse
Born to Be Wild by Brad Weiss
Kippy Survived (I Will Survive) featuring Joe Aro by mrlip
Punchable Face (Poker Face) by robert berg

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Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
This is ridiculous and I love it.
675 days ago.
tbone1 in Indianapolis
As bad as the original is (and it is), at least it isn't Cyndi Lauper. The jingle, however, is brilliant.
684 days ago.
Anonymous Little
Very true.
685 days ago.
Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
To the surprise of nobody, Judo.
685 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
Obviously, the best thing this jingle has accomplished by far is letting us know Cillizza loves terrible songs like "We Built This City."
685 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
luke, told you so.
685 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
Oh, I agree - there is no redeeming this abomination of a song. The only thing worse is this paper thin premise for a jingle I matched it with. Literally reading the Bagel City address and hours for an entire verse is ridiculous. They deserve each other. :)
689 days ago.
Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
And don't forget U2's "Lemon" -- high treason to their fanbase.
690 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
i still find Prince redeemable.
690 days ago.
Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
Well, that looks harsh in print! Sorry! <3 Judo H8 Starship...
690 days ago.
Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
There is no redemption for this song. You know that, right? Mick and Slick are in the same eternal brimstone stew pot as George Harrison for "Set On You", and Prince for "Batdance". Shame on you.
690 days ago.
Bill Barto in Columbus, OH
Knee-deep in the hoopla indeed
690 days ago.
John Neiswinger in Bel Air, MD
There's a fine line between advertising and propaganda haha.
690 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
and isn't their phone number 230-8080? i think that's it. we are certainly programmable.
690 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
It was really weird to listen to Tuesday's show & realize that I've memorized both the street address of Bagel City & the phone number for Window Nation. Advertising works!
690 days ago.
Mr Tony's Raging Ego
When you get that doctorate, will you pick up an extra for me?
690 days ago.
Luke Overbey in Charleston, SC
If you are willing to spend a doctorate's-worth of time listening to that song, you are a better man than I.
690 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
It's one thing to look back on something that long ago and think it's strange and creepy... and it most certainly is. But - what makes me laugh is the fact that the audience there in person seems to be thinking the same thing in the moment. Especially considering it's from a time period where teenage girls in crowds always seemed to be portrayed as lunatics screaming and fainting at stuff like this. Since it was televised, that was probably also the most positive crowd shot the cameraman could find. Just fascinating. I wanna find a doctorate program to let me do a disertation on just this 2 minutes captured in time.
690 days ago.
Luke Overbey in Charleston, SC
I think the best songs to parody are the best songs and the worst songs. Also, I accidentally navigated away from the Newbeats song halfway through, and then had to listen over again to be able to catch the robotic aliens. The 2 minutes might have been worth it but 3 minutes on the other hand... Fortunately I saw this in the morning so I have time to get it out of my head before it has a chance to manifest into nightmares.
690 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
man do i regret clicking on that link. they look like robotic grown up versions of the Village of the Damned kids trying to imitate earthlings dancing.
691 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
John F beat me to it! That video is totally worth the 2 minutes to view it. Unbelievable dead crowd shot midway through.
691 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
The Newbeats! Wow, I forgot about that song and yes it is horrific. Allow me to return the favor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06hB4oep4XY
691 days ago.
mrlip in Springfield, VA
OH MY GOD! That was a "real" song? WTF?
691 days ago.
John Neiswinger in Bel Air, MD
My 3 year old will randomly start singing this song throughout the day...it's hilarious.
691 days ago.
John Fitzpatrick in Arlington, VA
That is an actual song from the '60s. The Newbeats "Bread and Butter" Horrendous. And worse to watch. Right here: https://youtu.be/06hB4oep4XY
691 days ago.
mrlip in Springfield, VA
We are devolving beautifully. Please work something up using the "Sunbeam Bread" jingle from the 80's. You're welcome for this terrible earworm. next.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsggq5qqpwA
691 days ago.
John Fitzpatrick in Arlington, VA
I am a convert to "craptasticism" and this the hymn they play at midnight mass. Now that I've typed that, a question for you. If that were a religion, what would be listening to this tune for all of eternity, heaven or hell?
691 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
Yeah, it made it longer - which is bad for this one. I might change my mind at some point and replace the file with the a capella one for whomever stumbles onto this awfulness in the future.
691 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
no a capella, huh?
691 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
Big thanks and apologies to Rob for having to listen to this idea as I was working it out.
691 days ago.