The ESPYs Acquits (Puttin' on the Ritz)


A parody of a song by Taco.  Recorded by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 06/30/2015  Released: 07/01/2015  First aired: unaired
 View the Airtime Calendar


Okay, in a small bit of pandering I actually went ahead and kind of made a Wilbon song that TK asked for. But mostly it's about how stupid the ESPYs are. I think most awards shows are idiotic, but this one is super-idiotic. You already get trophies in sports, you don't need ESPYs. ugh. I don't think they can actually play it or I might get suspended.

If you like pointless awards
that the winners immediately discard
in trash bins
The ESPYs acquits

Who will win free throw of the year
the type of tripe on which most
monoliths subsist
The ESPYs acquits

Dressed up like someone not Frank Sinatra
Wilbon tieless with an open collar
(Beige sock rocker )

Come, let's mix where ballers and ballerettes
are bribed to show up and to give a ****
The ESPYs acquits

Have you seen the empty suits
Who booked and planned this stupid ruse
And who make the Orange man
Pretend that he gives a damn
Wilbon, in all his glory
makes for congenial quarry
‘cause Frank always wore a tie
Mike’s thinking of some other guy

But that won’t stop him from dismissing
that he’s not mis-reminiscing pieces and bits
of Rat Pack Glitz

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Join the conversation

Your Name
Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
Free throw of the year! Beige sock rocker, Mike's thinking of some other do you come up with this stuff. So, so good!
776 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
on the June 30 show "Nigel" plays one measure of this song underneath Satch talking about Wilbon. 2 kicks and 2 snares. no actual music. yes, i can name this tune in 0 notes. i emailed the show and said "How does THAT taste, Kornheiser?" apparently it did not impress them.
780 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
Totally great. I think the only way they don't play this during the show is some suited sales weasels with no sense of humor block it.
781 days ago.

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