Balding Jordan Spieth (Rolling in the Deep)

   

A parody of a song by Adele.  Recorded by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 06/21/2015  Released: 06/22/2015  First aired: 07/02/2015
 View the Airtime Calendar

Lyrics

***ATTENTION PEOPLE COMING IN FROM THE GOLF SITES***:

This song is about Tony Kornheiser's obsession with Jordan Spieth's lack of hair. This is NOT a shot at Jordan Spieth. This website contains songs sent in to Kornheiser's radio show on WTEM 980 in Washington, DC about things that happen ON THAT SHOW. I personally root for Spieth because he seems like a good kid. If you think the song sucks...well, it's hard to fault that line of reasoning. But it's actually a shot at Kornheiser not focusing on the fact that Spieth is a phenomenal player dominating at a very young age and instead focusing on his receding hairline. Thank you for reading this disclaimer.


In case anyone is interested, the background vocals are

Pretty soon he won't
Even need a comb
Hairline screaming back
Pasty barren dome



THERE’S A GOLFER, 21 YEARS OLD
LOOKS LIKE HE’S 40 WITH HIS FAILING FOLLICLES
DOING BATTLE WITH THE VERTIGINOUS JASON DAY
WHO HAS A BEAUTIFUL HEAD OF HAIR, HIS HAT IS TAYLOR MADE
DUSTIN JOHNSON’S HAIRLINE ALSO HEADING NORTH
BRANDEN GRACE AS WELL, WHAT A SAD LACONIC SPORT
MAKES MEN HATE THEMSELVES ‘CAUSE THEY CAN’T GET IT ON THE GREEN
AND 70% OF US HAVE THE ANDROGEN RECEPTOR GENE

HITTING HIS GOLF SHOTS ON THE ALL THE GOLF HOLES
USING HIS GOLF CLUBS HE STRIKES THROUGH HIS GOLF BALLS
AT THE GOLF TOURNAMENT TALKING TO STEVE SANDS
SIGNING SCORE CARDS WITH HIS GOLF HANDS

HE’S WON THE FIRST TWO MAJORS
BALDING JORDAN SPIETH
HE MAY SOON HAVE PROPECIA SPONSORSHIPS
ON HIS GOLF BAG AND HIS GOLF SLEEVES
HE’S RANKED FIRST IN THE WORLD
AND HAIR PLUGS WORKED FOR WAYNE ROONEY
BESIDES, HAVE YOU SEEN RORY’S HAIR?
IT’S LIKE A BRIAR THICKET’S UNHOLY OFFSPRING

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Computer Debacle Song (Endless Love/Never Gonna Give You Up) Ft. KJ & Jason Fuse by robert berg

Join the conversation

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Rashid from bahrain
Listen to this song everytime I'm on this site...I need to get on this site more often. AMAZING!!!!!!!
378 days ago.
Mike from Somerville
Sorry, I couldn't help it https://twitter.com/mtrem2/status/718133047909097477
441 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
Spieth, Grace, Johnson, and Day once again in contention on a Sunday at a major. As an aside, remember when golfers would win majors at 4 under, and most of the field would be over par? what the hell is going on this year?
677 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
The "failing follicles" lyric would be perfect for Adele to actually sing. I can just hear her chewing those words.
704 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
Yep - Blocking off some time in my schedule for tomorrow.
704 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
oh boy...he's in the lead now. i'm gonna start putting some ideas together.
704 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
Remember the reverse jingle curse!! You MUST comply!
707 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
At this point, I feel like not doing another one could break the streak, so I'm in. :)
707 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
Jason, Spieth is -5 after the first round. if he wins, are you doing the song or do I have to? or do we collaborate?
707 days ago.
Luke Overbey in Charleston, SC
It has now been two weeks since I've last heard this song, but I've somehow been singing it in my head for the last three days. Granted, the last time this happened to me it was a kids song about vowels that my 4-year old was playing off of youtube.
708 days ago.
Mike from Somerville (MA
Needed to bite my fist to keep from laughing on the subway. I probably looked like a freak (and therefore fit right in). Bravo.
715 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
Jason is right. The original Jordan Spieth song: http://tkjingles.com/1223.a If you hate mine you'll hate this one just as much.
719 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
sweet jesus, there is an audio link on thebiglead.com to this song and the lyrics are posted underneath. no mention of TK's show whatsoever. no wonder some people are defending him.
719 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
Guys, I think we're missing the big picture here. I for one am completely offended... I mean, I wrote the first jingle weeks ago about this subject and not a single troll even showed up! (I also like Spieth and hope he wins the next two majors.)
719 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
exactly, i mean, who doesn't like Jordan Spieth? what's not to like about him? but after he wins the Masters at 21 all Kornheiser wanted to talk about was his lack of hair.
719 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
Ah, @golftournews and its 16K followers are on the case. For the record, this is more a commentary on Tony Kornheiser's affinity with Speith because of the baldness connection than anything having to do with Speith.
719 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
Did i miss a "Goodbye, RGIII" moment where someone posted a link to this tune externally and invited trolls in here?
719 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
well, Brad has hit the nail on the head because TK is actually the one who is being made fun of in this song. for people who have lives and don't listen every day it probably comes across as too subtle. for those full grown adults who keep track of this stuff, as Brad noted in his song, it screams and shouts off the page.
720 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
The point of view in every jingle is "How can TK think THAT?!"
720 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
As an aside, I was rooting hard for the kid because he seems like a good guy and I like when good people win.
720 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
bucky's feedback is fine. if you're gonna take shots at people you have to be able to take them back, but this song is more a commentary on TK's obsession with Jordan's hair right after the Masters win. that monday he kept going on and on about it. And the song is also about how ALL of us are losing our hair too. I started going bald at 21. Now I have nothing left.
720 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
"Bucky" sounds like a big fan of the show. Asshat.
720 days ago.
Bucky
Probably the nicest and most polite kid in the sports world. It takes a royal D-bag to mess with this guy.
720 days ago.
Bucky
Very stupid....
720 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
Certainly not the first, and Kj especially has gotten fare worse, but it's nice to know people care
720 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
that's what i was thinking too, Jason. Am I the first person to get a review like this? This is great! It has to be someone who signed up specifically to do this because it's not clever at all and everyone on here IS clever. I'm not saying Oliver is a bad guy, and certainly he's not the only one thinking it.
720 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
Jerry seems to have implemented that new API from the Apple dev conference that pulls comments from Youtube directly into the site.
720 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
The requisite adjective for the show is "Stinks." And it's always, "This show stinks", never "that show stunk." But I'm sure you'll get the hang of it soon, Oscar.
720 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
Omar, you have a tense agreement problem here, "sucked" is past tense and the song is right over there to the left in the upper corner. Since it is still existent you need to use the word "sucks" for a present tense review. IF you were reviewing it on the Mr Tony show page you could theoretically get away with "sucked" because that particular show had aired, even though it was still available. But thank you for playing.
720 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
A little something for the effort, eh?
721 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
If one wants to leave a bad review, at least have the decency it make it two words: sh*t sandwich!
721 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
This one is the best kind of goofy. Hope you're getting some sleep!
721 days ago.
Omar
sucked
721 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
So glad this one made the show!
721 days ago.
Tony (not that one) in Murfreesboro, TN
Love this!
728 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
Very funny - and nice job on the vocals too. Taylor made hat is so clever. I just posted my...uh, unplugged... song for this.
732 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
the more i look at it the more i regret using the word laconic. it's just an awkward way to express the thought. i suppose i should allow a wide berth for creative license but this one just seems off.
732 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
Okay, Jason, you're back up for the Jordan Spieth Open Championship song, unless you wanna pass the baton to someone else.
732 days ago.

The TK Jingles Weekly Prodcast
This jingle is featured in the following episodes of the TK Jingles Weekly Prodcast:

Playlists

This jingle is included in the following playlists:

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