The Middle-Aged Man and the Swordfish (Mr. Brightside)


A parody of a song by The Killers.  Recorded by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 06/01/2015  Released: 06/01/2015  First aired: 06/03/2015
 View the Airtime Calendar


I was hesitant to post this one because a guy died, but Brad talked me into it (without knowing the lyrics...if you think this is horrible don't blame Brad). This is borderline for me, but the manner in which this guy went after the fish was ridiculous and he kinda deserved what he got, which caused me to lean towards posting it. If you think I'm despicable just say so in the comments. Thanks.

Getting into my boat
Heading out in the sea
Gotta gotta sit tight to catch a trophy fish
And we're casting our lines
There's a decent-sized fish
And I do see a fin, yes I'm sure that's a fin
Now I'm making my move
Show these people how it's done
So I grab the spear gun
Decide to jump from the boat
And I puncture his flank
Now he's coming back round
I think I made a mistake

What's this thing in my chest
Oh no this is really bad
All road games are dangerous (We must protect this house!)
This swordfish is literally killing me
I've been fish kebab-ed

Silently, the fish says "You want a piece of me?"
I always knew I'd die at sea
Because I do things like this
Hemingway would have loved this twist
The middle-aged man and the bill of death
For whom the bell tolls it's tolling for Lloyd
Lesson learned: Swordfish are not toys

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Join the conversation

Your Name
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
sorry, darrell, but big rock is down by a huge margin right now. it would take a miracle.
108 days ago.
If Big Rock Cocaine Planet doesn't win this thing is rigged. I could listen to this on a loop all day.
108 days ago.
robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
you're too kind, sam. but thanks.
500 days ago.
Still the funniest song I've heard.
500 days ago.
olgrimey in Bismarck, North Dakota
Favorite part 1 - audio clip "We must protect this house!" Favorite part 2 - the pronunciation of "toys". I love the original by The Killers, so I was intrigued upon hearing the opening. The lyrics sealed it. My all-time favorite Jingle.
598 days ago.
So wrong, but so right!
791 days ago.
Carroll Connelley in Stafford, VA
With 30 seconds on the mic I am a star! I suspect it will be hard to fend off the autograph seekers at The Show! BTW in between one of the segments TK mentioned your lyrics as being really smart as of late... so you got that going for you! Hope to see you at Kilroy's.
799 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
i swear when i saw that Carroll commented my first thought was: oh, i KNOW him...he's on the Kornheiser show! my little David Aldridge moment.
800 days ago.
Carroll Connelley in Stafford, VA
Just awesome!!!
800 days ago.
Seth B.
One of my all-time favorites...
800 days ago.
Kyle in Iowa
Best jingle since "Grapefruit juice for $3.69"
800 days ago.
Mike M.
I think that I have listened to this 40 times. So brilliant.
800 days ago.
Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
I am all in favor of people dying stupidly for my third hand entertainment, particularly if the story is turned into a snappy jingle. Please continue doing the Lord's work.
804 days ago.
Glen in Alta Loma, CA
Tears streaming down my face.. Had to rewind the podcast to listen again. This is genius.
805 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
I advise that everyone try the Icelandic chocolate, it's AMAZING! and TK was never going to go there to find out, so I sent him some. I would bring some to Jingle Fair but it would probably melt in the car ride down.
806 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
That Brad is an immoral sociopath. But the tune is great!
806 days ago.
mrlip in Springfield, VA
You don't need to send Icelandic Chocolate bars when you bring the material like this. Lotsa show love!
806 days ago.
John Neiswinger in Bel Air, MD
This is despicable.......y macabre and hilarious. I think the old man would laugh at this for sure. Brilliant
807 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
I like that you chose a song from "The Killers" for this one. I feel like Kevin, but "what's this thing in my chest" did make me laugh. I will also think of this jingle when I listen to the podcast today or tomorrow and hear this story... and probably laugh again.
808 days ago.
mrlip in Springfield, VA
Fish kabob-ed, Hemingway and for whom the bell tolls? Does anyone know if Tony was an English major, because if he was he just might love this. I understand your trepidation with a a fellow who died but at least you memorialized him with no laughter (cough, cough, Kevin Sheehan, cough cough.) Nice work.
808 days ago.

The TK Jingles Weekly Prodcast
This jingle is featured in the following episodes of the TK Jingles Weekly Prodcast:


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