Phelps (Help)

   

A parody of a song by The Beatles.  Recorded by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 05/17/2015  Released: 05/17/2015  First aired: unaired
 View the Airtime Calendar

Lyrics

PHELPS, HE NEEDS SOMEBODY
PHELPS, NOT JUST ANYBODY
PHELPS, YOU KNOW HE NEEDS A LIFT, HELP

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, A FEW YEARS YOUNGER THAN TODAY
I USED TO CHEER MICHAEL PHELPS SWIM FOR THE USA
BUT NOW THOSE DAYS ARE GONE AND I'M NOT SO NAIVE
NOW I KNOW THAT HE'S A MEGALOMANIACAL CREEP

HELP POOR NIGEL FOR HE NEEDED A RIDE
AND THERE WAS ROOM FOR ONE MORE IF YOU REALLY TRIED
BUT THIS ***DOUCHENOZZLE SAT FORTH AND HE LIED
SORRY MAN, NO ROOM, AND SCREW YOU

NOW I DON'T CARE IF YOU GOT DRUNK AND SMOKED A LITTLE WEED
WHO YOU PAID, WHAT YOU WORE, OR WHY YOU ASKED THEM TO DRINK
BUT IF YOU CROSS MY FRIENDS THERE'S A PRICE TO PAY
AND I'D LOVE TO WIPE THAT GRIN OFF YOUR SUBWAY-EATING FACE

RYAN LOCHTE TELL ME, CAN YOU WIN?
OR DO I NEED TO ROOT FOR THE GERMANS?
THE CHINESE, TURKS, JAMAICANS, OR THE FINS?
LITERALLY ANYONE BUT MIKE PHELPS

****SPECIAL THANKS TO THE PERSON THAT WROTE THE DOUCHENOZZLE LYRIC FOR "END OF THE LINE." PERFECT WORD AT THE PERFECT TIME.

Related Jingles

Anthony (Wonderboy) by robert berg
Scott Linn's Newsman Audition (Jack Sparrow, The Lonely Island) Ft: Luke Overbey & Jason Fuse by robert berg
Everything Gets Under His Skin (Sinatra) by robert berg
Andy Polley (Yellow Submarine) by Patrick Moffett
Plumbing (Something) by mrlip

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rob in Pittsburgh, PA
i don't think it does. has anyone done any Plastic Ono Band stuff when John was doing that screaming therapy stuff or whatever it was? that could be interesting.
770 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
I'm thinking about going all out with a full length While My Guitar Gently Weeps with like a 2 minute Prince style guitar solo at the end... That is, if someone didn't do that already.
770 days ago.
Kj in MN in St. Paul, MN
I learned to play "Imagine" on ukulele but before I could do it, that Negrelli guy did it. I couldn't have done it as well as he did. I don't even think that qualifies as a Beatles tune, does it?
770 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
I just looked at the list out of curiosity, and you're right. There's a couple good ones I didn't see in the search, but hard to believe even those haven't been done.
770 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Carrboro, NC
Have I done one yet? Let me check. Oh. All of them.
770 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
I was CERTAIN I was the only one that didn't have a Beatles tune. there probably isn't much left.
770 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
I am also lacking Beatles... and Billy Joel.
770 days ago.
Kj in MN in St. Paul, MN
Hilarious indeed. I also dig the Subway-eating face line. Now I'm the only one who hasn't done a Beatles jingle!
770 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
Great lyrics, and so well put together as always. Subway-eating face is my favorite.
771 days ago.
joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
Hilarious!
771 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
i just wanted my own beatles song. everyone should have at least one on here and i literally went through all of them to see what was left over. i thought "hey, no one has done Help. what the hell rhymes with help?" boom.
772 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Carrboro, NC
Nice background composition! Douchenozzle is a Gary Braun original. Very smart to write one that appeals to Nigel's sympathies.
772 days ago.