Take Me To Whole Foods (Eddie Money)

   

A parody of a song by Eddie Money.  Recorded by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 04/14/2015  Released: 04/15/2015  First aired: 04/16/2015
 View the Airtime Calendar

Lyrics

I FEEL A HUNGER, IT’S A HUNGER
FOR SPECIALIZED DESIGNER CITRUS FRUITS
A JUICY DEKOPON, OR A MANGOSTEEN
FOOD TASTES BETTER WHEN YOU PAY A LOT
HAVE YOU BEEN TO THEIR OLIVE BAR?
IT’S ONLY $12.99 A POUND
I SMELL PATCHOULI, ALMOST EVERYWHERE
HEMP WRISTWATCHES IN THE LOST AND FOUND

MMM HOMEMADE GUACAMOLE
TIMMY, HAVE YOU SEEN THEIR AVOCADOS?

TAKE ME TO WHOLE FOODS
NAVIGATE THE HAUGHTY DOPES AND PRETENTIOUS RUBES
TAKE ME TO WHOLE FOODS
LISTEN TONY, JUST LIKE KEVIN SAID

MY GOD, HAVE YOU SEEN THE SMOKING HOT COUGARS?
IN SUMMER DRESSES AND IN THEIR YOGA PANTS
BUYING IMPORTED ICELANDIC CHOCOLATE
AND ORGANIC BABY FORMULA

I DON’T SEE THE TRISCUITS
HAVE YOU PRICE-SHOPPED THEIR GRAPEFRUIT JUICE?

TAKE ME TO WHOLE FOODS
GET A SECOND MORTGAGE AND SELL THE SOLSTICE TOO
TAKE ME TO WHOLE FOODS
LISTEN TONY, JUST LIKE KEVIN SAID

Related Jingles

Monkey University Fight Song by robert berg
He Would Do Anything For Cash (But He Can't Do That) (ft. Michelle Negrelli) by Jerry
Two Tickets To Hamilton by Bill Barto
I Wanna Go Back by joeythejammer
Abracadaver (An Ode to Florida Man Friday) by robert berg

Join the conversation

Your Name
Anti-SPAM
Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
Haters gonna hate. Tony's gonna Tony, and jinglers gonna make you laugh.
848 days ago.
Kj in MN in St. Paul, MN
Pure excellence all around. Nothing but laughs for me.
853 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
thank you, sir. btw, i finally got a microphone so hopefully the vocals will sound better as soon as i can figure out how to use make it work. this song sounded bad on the podcast. i can't just be singing into a laptop mic anymore.
853 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
Your lyrics continually make me laugh by catching me off guard. I can never completely anticipate what's coming next, even though I know all these stories, and that is great.
854 days ago.
Brad Weiss in Carrboro, NC
We kid because we love patchouli. And sampling an array of chips.
854 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
i love whole foods, so i'm not criticizing, i lived out in boulder for 7 years and they were all over the place.
855 days ago.
John Fitzpatrick in Arlington, VA
"hemp wristwatches in the lost and found" HA!!!!! This is a riot
855 days ago.