They Don't Have Chaputzfuh

   

A parody of a song by Billy Joel.  Recorded by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 02/15/2015  Released: 02/18/2015  First aired: 02/18/2015
 View the Airtime Calendar

Lyrics

D.A. AND TONY THINK
HALL AND OATES ARE PRETTY SWEET
LIZ CLARK DOES NOT AGREE
SHE THINKS THEY’RE “PLEASANT”
RAJU NARISETTI
BRAINS LIKE WET SPAGHETTI
WOULDN’T KNOW AN ADVERT
FROM A NEWS EVENT
SALES WEASELS HAVE NO PRIDE
CAN’T FIND A WAY TO MONETIZE
A PODCAST HEARD ACROSS THE GLOBE
TENS OF THOUSANDS OF DOWNLOADS
WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY DO
BESIDES EAT MR TONY’S FOOD
THEY SHOULD BE, CARRYING
URINE SPECIMENS

THEY DON’T HAVE CHAPUTZFUH
YOU CAN’T RESPECT THEM AND YOU CAN’T INJECT THEM
THEY DON’T HAVE CHAPUTZFUH
THEY CAN’T CONCEAL THAT THEY’RE A REAL SCHLEMIEL

SPEED DEMON JAYSON WERTH
DOES THE HARDEST THING IN THE UNIVERSE
659 CAREER RBI
ROBERT GRIFFIN, RUINED KNEE
PREPPING TO BE MVP
SINGS ALONG TO BILLIE JEAN, BUT HASHTAG BEAT IT
TROY AT BAMA, MAN ALIVE
CARVILLE’S TAKING 45
COURTNEY’S LAYING WOOD AGAIN
DROPPING STATS LIKE TIM KURKJIAN
JAWS IS CLAIMING EXTRA WINS
LOSING TO THE SIMIAN
THE MONKEY’S PLAYING SHUFFLEBOARD
WITH DON SHULA

THESE GUYS HAVE CHAPUTZFUH
A WILL TO POWER AND THEY NEVER COWER
THESE GUYS HAVE CHAPUTZFUH
JUST LIKE CHAGALL, THEY’RE NOT SCHLEMIELS

MARION BERRY’S RULE
PAYING TAXES IS FOR FOOLS
SHEEHAN’S CALLING 6 TO 10
THE NAM IS ACTING UP AGAIN
CANTORI YAWNS, NOT COMPELLED
WON’T SHOW UP FOR LESS THAN TWELVE
GUNS ABLAZE, SET FOR WAR
OOZING IT FROM EVERY PORE

SATCH WANTS INVITATIONS SENT
FOR PARTIES THAT HE WON’T ATTEND
FOR REASONS WE CAN’T COMPREHEND
BEHAVIOR WE CAN’T RECOMMEND
JEFF MA BUMPED ON THE NEWS
HERE’S 50 BUCKS TO SHINE MY SHOES
BECAUSE, REALLY
HOW MUCH MONEY COULD YOU MAKE?

THIS GUY HAS CHAPUTZFUH
HE’S OLD AND FUSSY AND IT SIMPLY MUST BE THAT
THIS GUY HAS CHAPUTZFUH
BUT HE CAN’T MANAGE TO GET A SUBWAY SANDWICH

Related Jingles

Bread and Taters (Black and Yellow) by robert berg
Call Him Boogie (Jungle Boogie) by robert berg
Over the Bay Bridge - Ft: KJ by robert berg
Purple Line (Purple Rain) ***Did not know Joe Farrell did this one before I posted by robert berg
The Weatherman Song (Monty Python, Featuring Brad Weiss and John Fitzpatrick) by Patrick Moffett

Join the conversation

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joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
Just relistening to this. What a freakin' masterpiece!!
783 days ago.
Jen in NY
So great!
783 days ago.
Jerry in Annandale, VA
My wife's uncle commented yesterday that the Maria tune was pretty good, but the Chaputzvah song that preceded it a few days earlier was much better. Well done. (shakes fist)
881 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
thanks guys, i appreciate the kind words. these jingles are a lot of fun to write, and are becoming addictive.
881 days ago.
Adam
This is a better version then the actual song
882 days ago.
Joe from damascus
my favorite mailbag jingle of all time and I've been listening for over 10 years
900 days ago.
Patrick Vint
This was excellent. Excellent work.
906 days ago.
Matt R
This is glorious!!!!
912 days ago.
CK in New York, NY
Good job Rob.
912 days ago.
Ari M
Good lord. How have we not heard from this guy before? Amazing.
912 days ago.
WF in South Pas
I literally applauded after hearing this. Brilliant beyond all measure. Good work!
912 days ago.
judofuse in Atlanta
"Sh- lem- e- ul" is great.
913 days ago.
joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
Just WOW....
913 days ago.
rob in Pittsburgh, PA
This is a slightly different version of the one that aired on the show. I fixed a couple of things and resent it to Nigel but he already had the other one ready to go I guess.
914 days ago.

The TK Jingles Weekly Prodcast
This jingle is featured in the following episodes of the TK Jingles Weekly Prodcast:

Playlists

This jingle is included in the following playlists:

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All of robert berg's Jingles robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
All the TK Jingles of 2015 Jerry in Annandale, VA
Berg's Best Jerry in Annandale, VA
Best of February 2015 Jerry in Annandale, VA
Big Stick in Frederick Serge in Frederick, MD
Chaputzvah Jerry in Annandale, VA
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